When Breath Becomes Air (Book)

 When Breath becomes Air

          "When breath becomes air" by Paul Kalanithi. I came across this while scrolling bookstagram for my next read. It's been a long time since I read something like this.

This book is an autobiography of a neurosurgeon who dies of metastasis to brain from stage 5 lung cancer. It was a difficult read as it was quite emotional.
What I enjoyed about this book was how bravely author confronted death. He questioned it, he examined it and tried to make sense of it. He analyzed it both scientifically and philosophically. Paul takes the reader through his thinking, an adventure through this emotions.

From Paul's deteriorating relationship, to his diagnosis, to him questioning his identity, navigating chemotherapy and finally becoming a dying father, I got to see Paul at his most vulnerable moments. I realized people change their goals and aspirations depending on the time they have. When Paul though he had 7 years, then he wanted to finish his neurosurgeon residency. When Paul realized he had less than 5 years, he wanted to write a book, and become a father. It was difficult for Paul to transition from care giving end to care receiving end. The doctor in him didn't let him be a patient that can allow someone else to take care of him without any questions.

The book highlights another perspective, that of doctor. As a doctor, I need to understand what's the most important thing to my patient that I need to preserve while he/she undergoes treatment. As we know every drug has multiple effects and as doctors we have to come up with a combination causing most benefit and least adverse effects. We have to see the that the risk-benefit ratio is suitable to that particular patient.

As a neurosurgeon, Paul met patients who thought life without speech and sense of understanding was worthless. Meanwhile other patients thought that as long as they can wake up the next morning, the life was worth preserving. Accordingly, treatment plan was made for each patient.

For Paul, the most important thing was preserving his cognitive availability. He valued this more than his life. That was his identity. So, Paul chose treatment option that allowed him retain his cognitive ability for as long as possible.

Apart from safeguarding patient identity, an age old question of quality over quantity of life arises... it's very easy to say the quality of life matters more than quantity. However, when you know that someone you love has limited time, you start bargaining. Bargaining with God. Then, quantity becomes more important and cancer patients start chasing immunotherapy.

Paul was unable to finish his autobiography due to his deteriorating health. His book is unfinished like his life. The ending is written by his wife Lucy and published posthumously.

Rating: 5/5